♥ Motherhood Update – Pre-schooler’s Mommy! ♥

Time just flies by!

Alhamdulilah! I still can’t believe I am a mother of a 3 years old! Deep inside I still feel like a college girl (though my body is kind enough here to remind me otherwise)! Lol! In no way am I feeling like a have-it-all-under-control type of mother. I have made my share of mistakes, been judged mercilessly and body shamed! Today, I am participating in this Campaign by Honest Company to spark positive, supportive conversation about motherhood moments.

Becoming a mom was like getting hit by a meteor for me. Before that I used to see my mom as a superhero who had it all under control. I remember crying my head off one day for not being able to cope and wondered how did my mom go through all this. When I gave birth my mom, dad, sister and hubby were all there around me for everything. My mom was alone, far away from homeland with just a supportive hubby who had to still go back to work everyday. How did she cope? Didn’t she miss her mom? Did she had to cry like this a lot? Did I make her stay up a lot at night? How did she cope with postpartum blues? Only after being a mom do you truly appreciate how much your happiness and health equals a lot of sacrifice, tears and sweat on your mother’s side.

Anyway, as they say time passes and I have had a wonderful time raising my son. From the first time he held my finger, smiled, crawled, sat up, stood up, walked, uttered his first words to surprising me with full sentences! The journey has been incredible. I never dreamed of playing boyish games with so much fun. LOL! We do racing cars, boxings, pirates and flying fighter planes. MashaAllah, I can’t get over the fact how fast he is growing – he was sooo damn tiny!!!

We have big time battles during bath, food and bed times! My Boss Baby have no time to spare for these things!! For this reason I guess he is giving me a hard time with potty training. It’s starting to freak me out. He cries and fusses to put on pampers for him when it is time and ofcorse his grand parents come to his rescue when I stay stern not to put him one. He still bottle feeds for milk – just can’t part with that! As a working mom and expensive nurseries around, I leave him with my parents while I go to work. They just wouldn’t let me potty train or wean him out of bottle – He is still a baby!!! On the other hand there are people asking why is he still wearing pampers and using bottle!!?? Ahhhhhh – Story of my life! People have already started asking when is the second one due – like really homosapiens! Give me a break!

I am still struggling to get back to my ideal weight. I went through a depression phase in life and not getting proper care worsened it. Seeking help for mental health is a ‘taboo’ subject around many places still that I felt myself burying it all in until I couldn’t handle it anymore. I went out myself to get help for it and it was so worth it. The Doctor figured out I wasn’t suffering from the Clinical depression. It was all out of being emotinally over burdened. She made me recount my past, pin pointed areas where I submerged my feelings instead of confronting it and finally lead to the state I was in. Deep breathing techniques and confronting problems casually without getting emotional (crying, shouting, etc..) were the trainings I got. I have come a long way since then, I have still got a lot to learn but the improvement I have made is harmonious!

 One thing I am so grateful for is having access to internet. Truly! A lot of my questions were answered because of the simple step I took to do research. Ofcorse, there are misleading informations too – so that’s why one needs to research well and learn about the sources. I could read about people who had similar expereinces like me, learn from them, find support, etc… Even for child care including games to play for the certain age I used to read about. I used to be mocked at for researching this way (older generations took care of their children without all this research!!!) but frankly it has helped me connect with my son in a way I wouldn’t be able to if I hadn’t read about it. To understand how he reacts to things, makes decisions, plays, handling tantrums, everything and anything. How many doubts have we had which were just brushed off by people or been given advises that seriously sound nonsense to you!  How many practises have been proved wrong that could seriously damage the child not just physically but mentally as well. (Big lesson for me was about not giving water or honey to infants under 1 year old)  If you have been reading my blog, you would know my favorite website to research everything about chilcare is babycentre.com. It has lot of information from pregnancy to pre-schoolers.

Finally, I just want to tell all mothers out there that we all have our own journey to travel. Every mother-child relationship is unique and you are doing a great job! Trust your instints and don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Don’t feel silly to research and don’t be pressured to be perfect! Just enjoy and learn as you go.

♥ Abidha Basheer ♥

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