When was the last time you stood up for yourself? How many people actually enjoy this right or muster enough courage to do it? Why after reaching well into your adult age, you still find it difficult to speak up for yourself?
I can frankly say, from where I belong, this right is still a dream for many. Some don’t even know they have such rights??!!
Let’s start from the beginning of a person’s life. When we are young, we are taught to respect people because of their elder age than for their character! Whether the person is an alchohlic, abuser, or whatever – it is said to the child, he is your grand father/uncle/leader, you can’t talk against them. Whatever they do are right for you. You have no other choice!
When a teacher or elder relative come up to you complaining about your child, you immediately scold him/her for it and maybe even beat them up. Not once do you think about hearing his/her side of the story – C’mon how can the elders lie! Yes??!!
Your child comes up uncomfortably struggling to tell you he /she was sexually abused by a relative, teacher or stranger, you hastly shush the child telling never to speak of it ever again. It will be shameful for the family, just forget it!! Forget it?? That child is scarred for life!
Sometimes children are scolded as for talking up about beingaccused for no mistake of their part and they are left wondering whether they have a life at all?!
For boys this situation might improve after a while. But girls continue to face it throughout their life. How could you talk back to your husband like that? Don’t you know it’s disrespectful to talk back to you mother-in-law? They are elders, let them say, you be quiet!!
So what can we do about it?
My sincere advice to you is to trust your children and put them first before anyone else. Build belief in them that they can come up to you without fear in case of any difficulty. Control yourself from over reacting at a mishap. Over reacting will prevent them from opening up to you forever! Such children go out of the house in search of love and appreciation which eventually ends up in them being in bad company, cheated, alchoholic, drug addicts and in worst cases even worser fields!!
Listen Listen Listen! From their childhood when they are talking to you, stop whatever you are doing and listen to them, especially if they are talking about a negative incident. It could as silly as a neighbouring child calling them names but listen well and calmly suggest how they can overcome the situation. In case the problem is serious, make sure you take action for it infront of them and make sure you let them know you took action.
When they insist on not doing a mistake they are blamed for (whether by relatives, teachers or other children) , make sure to find out if it’s the truth.
I am not talking here about making your children spoilt brats. You should teach them to respect, to share, to learn. But it is equally important that you teach them to raise their voice when they are being wronged.
This will help shape up their overall attitude towards life. Instead of raising a scare crow, raise a good human being! They will have self-respect, self-confidence, be humble and never do injustice! They will after all turn out to be good parents as well!
♥ Abidha ♥
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